Lately

It is crazy how much music affects me. I’ll hear a lyric or song and I’ll have an “a-ha” moment. I’ll wonder why I couldn’t say that or express that, since it’s exactly what I’m feeling. Although I would love to pass on someone’s lyric or song, I need to express my own emotions or feelings. 

Here’s a confession: I’m seeing a therapist. I’m not ashamed about it, I’m actually quite proud of the work that I’m doing with her. Also, I love going! I feel really centered while I’m there and I leave with a bit of a high.  I feel like she’s giving me the tools to allow me to become a better person. I’m not saying that I’m less than a better person, she’s helping me get the best version of Jon out. 

When I began therapy, I thought I was doing it all for someone else. That’s wrong, I’m doing it for myself. I want the best version of me, for the benefit of me. I’m learning to love me.  No matter what happens in my life, I’ll be with me. 

I have an issue with trust. I blindly trust everyone, I take what they say as gospel.  This isn’t a bad thing, exactly, but it does leave to a lot of disappointment.  I don’t want to stop trusting people, because then I’ll lose sight of all the goodness in everyone. I just think I need to learn to deal with disappointment.  People are going to lie to me, I can’t control that. The only thing that I can control is myself, and as long as I’m true to myself, and to others, I’ll be just fine. 

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